assignment related jokes

Assignment Jokes

Little Igor was struggling with his home assignment

Moral of the story..., a book series never written…, a plum assignment, a group of managers were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole., since we're doing little johnny jokes...., a sunday school teacher was giving her class the assignment for the next week., "i'm so sorry, my dog ate my homework." rolling his eyes, my computer science professor shot back, "really your dog ate your coding assignment", the third-grade class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day., a bright, young, fresh-out-of-school auditor just joined the irs, excited to begin tracking down high-powered offenders--such as the enron or worldcom guys. anxious for his first high-powered audit, he was a bit dismayed when his assignment was to audit a rabbi., a disappointed salesman of coca cola returns from his middle east assignment., there was an assignment to write a poem in school which ended with "there is only one mom"., a young priest is on his first assignment, russian elementary school assignmen: "please tell us an anecdote that demonstrates the kindness of our great leader putin", one afternoon a teacher gives her class a homework assignment to go home and have their parents tell them a story with a moral., i failed my python breeding class because of a late assignment., a young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. it was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class., drink vodka, play cards, there's only one mother., little johnny's teacher gives the class a homework assignment, i turned in my programming assignment, before the mother's day, the teacher gives her class an assignment to write an essay about their mothers., an army cadet has the worst assignment on base, overnight monitor of the armory where the weapons are stored., a teacher gave her class an assignment....., "i do not tolerate tardiness," a professor tells his class at the beginning on the semester., little johnny's shakespeare assignment, the other day i downloaded the maps of wales, england, scotland and northern ireland for an assignment..., what did the new recruit think of his assignment as a minesweeper, why did the blonde student boil her assignment, my teacher randomly capitalizes letters on an assignment when someone misbehaves, little johnny's class assignment, *the tv game*, nikola tesla was in trouble - he had not done his electrical studies assignment and his teacher was not happy..., death jokes for a homework assignment, my high school assignment, four idiots were in the finals stages of becoming full members of the local skin-head biker gang. their last assignment was to terrorize some jews at a bar mitzvah later that afternoon., little johnny has an assignment from school to describe society and how it works. (long), i am so unwitty. my teacher asked me why i didn't turnover my speech assignment, studies suggest that parents can do 1/3 of their kids’ math assignments, harry potter, for a magical creatures lesson had the assignment of looking after a magical gecko., after 10 years of impeccable policing, roderick was still only a captain., lois lane is on an assignment in japan., closing all the tabs after you finish an assignment is like closing all the tabs after you finish watching porn, one day, a teacher gives her class an assignment., a kid receives an assignment from his teacher.., i accidentally ripped up my homework assignment about the history of perforated paper., a teacher assigns a project to her students..., my love for you is like a copied assignment..., two students, james and john, were given a writing assignment..., my daughter came home from school with an assignment that asked to to finish the phrase, "i have a dream..." this is what she came up with., i got a job for british gas the other day. for my first assignment they gave me some blue prints marked in inches. i couldn't understand it at all..., did you hear about the assassin who was given forty years to complete his assignment, i would share my university assignment on reddit, my toughest assignment as a detective was finding my laptop cover, my notebook got wet in the rain and i lost most of my school assignments., handed in an assignment late today, looks like my teacher is giving black friday deals too., one day, at webster dictionary's word assignment briefing....

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Assignment Jokes

Laughing at your college assignments? Read on to learn how to make your assignment-related responsibilities easier and more enjoyable, with some funny introduction ideas and internship tips!

Laughter Assignment Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity

Little johnny has a question.

A boy comes home from school one day looking for his father. He has an assignment that he needs a little help with. He finds his father and tells him that he has to write a paper explaining the difference between potentially and actually. His father says to him "That's an easy one", "Go upstairs and find your sister; ask her if she'd sleep with the mailman for $10,000." So the boy does as he is told. When he comes back down he tells his father what he learned. "She said yes, dad." "So," said his dad "Find your mother, now, and ask her if she'd sleep with the mailman for $10,000 as well." The boy does as he is asked, and then returns to his father again. "She said yes too, dad." "Well, there you go." said the dad. The boy looked at his father, puzzled. He smiled, "Potentially we're sitting on a gold mine; but, actually I live with a couple of whores!"

A 2nd grade class just gets in from recess...

The teacher tells the class they're going to do a spelling assignment that relates to what they did for recess. "If you can come up to the board and write the word I give you, you'll get a gold star for the day," the teacher explains. "Tommy, what'd you do for recess?" she asks the first student. "Well," Tommy begins, "I played in the sand box with Suzy!" "Okay great. If you can come to the board and spell the word 'sand' I'll give you a gold star." So Tommy goes up to the board, spells 'sand' and gets a gold star for the day. Then the teacher asks Suzy, "Suzy, what'd you do for recess today?" So Suzy answers, "like Tommy said, we played in the sand box together." "Okay," the teacher thinks, "if you can come up to the board and spell 'box' I'll give you a gold star. So Suzy spells 'box' and gets a gold star for the day. Then the teacher asks the third student, "Tyrone, what'd you do for recess today?" "Well I wanted to play in the sand box with Tommy and Suzy but they wouldn't let me," Tyrone answers. "Oh no!" says the teacher, "That's terrible! Do you know what that's called? That's called 'racial discrimination.' If you can come up to the board and spell 'racial discrimination' I'll give you a gold star."

Theory vs Reality

Little Billy had a homework assignment to compare theory and reality. The boy asked his father what the difference was between theory and reality. His father told him, 'Go ask your mother if she would have sex with the mailman for a million dollars.' The boy asks his mother and she says she would. Billy tells his father she would have sex with the mailman for million dollars. The father then tells the boy, 'Now go as your sister if she would have sex with the mailman for a million dollars.' The boy asks his sister and she to says she would have sex with the mailman. Little Billy goes and tells his father both his mom and his sister would have sex with the mailman and his father says, "Well son, in theory we're multimillionaires, but in reality we live with a couple of whores.

My daughter came home from school with an assignment that asked to to finish the phrase, "I have a dream..." this is what she came up with.

I have a dream... That one day handicap people will be able to park wherever they want to.

Artificial Intelligence

An Annapolis computer science major was given an artificial intelligence assignment for one of his classes. He ended up creating a program where you could have a conversation with your computer based on your IQ level. To test his program he entered 80 and had a conversation with his Soap Operas. He entered 100 and talked about politics. He entered 150 and talked about nuclear physics. Just to see what would happen he entered a -50 and the computer bumped and belched and sparked and smoked for a good 10 minutes. When it finally settled down it displayed "On Brave Old Army Team....."

A teacher had given his class an assignment.

He stresses the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses will be accepted except illness (with a medical certificate) or a death in the immediate family (with a note from that member). A wise student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?" The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."

A priest and a shepherd...

... from Australia participate in a gameshow on TV. After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu". It's a city in Africa. The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration: "I was a father all my life, I had no children, had no wife, I read the bible through and through on my way to Timbuktu ... " The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory. But then comes the shepherd, with his poem: "When Tim and I to Brisbane went We met three ladies cheap to rent. But they were three and we were two, So I booked one and Tim Booked Two ... "

My friend had his assignment on plagiarism stolen so he copied mine.

He then proceeded to take a course on Nihilism but it ended up not having a meaningful impact on his transcript.

So I woke up to find that someone had stolen my assignment for my communications class...

I was speechless...

Handed in an assignment late today, looks like my teacher is giving black Friday deals too.

Teacher: "your composition on the assignment "my dog" is exactly like your brothers....

...did you copy it?" Boy: "No, it's the same dog!"

College Assignment: Short Story

So, the assignment in a college writing class was to compose a short story using as FEW words as possible, but in order to be accepted, the story had to include discussion of three things: 1) Religion 2) Sexuality 3) Mystery The winning entry: "God God! I'm pregnant! I wonder who did it."

My high school assignment was to ask a veteran about World War II...

Since my grandfather had served during the war, I chose him. After a few basic questions, I very gingerly asked, "Did you ever kill anyone?" He got quiet. Then, in a soft voice, he said, "Probably. I was the cook."

For not doing anything.

Student: Teacher, would you punish me for not doing anything? Teacher: Definitely not. Student: I haven't done my assignment.

Did you hear about the assassin who was given forty years to complete his assignment?

He had some time to kill.

One day, at Webster Dictionary's Word Assignment Briefing...

"Nichols," Mr. Lipney, lead word assigner, said, "I'm trusting you to define plethora for next year's edition." "Thanks Mr. Lipney," Nichols responds, beaming. "It means a lot!"

We had an assignment on terrorists in school once.

I bombed it of course

Book club leader: "So last weeks assignment was Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk. What did everyone think?"

[No one responds]

20,000 Dots

Your assignment was to produce a piece containing exactly 20,000 dots, my Art teacher said, but I only see one. They're on top of each other. I explained.

I did a programming assignment.

My grade for that assignment was C++.

Caitlyn Jenner has an assignment from the Military

I guess you could call it a Transmission

What was the circle's excuse for failing to complete his assignment?

"I didn't get around to it."

The Deadliest Job in WW2

My high school assignment was to ask a veteran about World War II. Since my father had served in the Philippines during the war, I chose him. After a few basic questions, I very gingerly asked, Did you ever kill anyone? Dad got quiet. Then, in a soft voice, he said, Probably. I was the cook.

The head of the CIA tells you that he has a secret assignment for you to do.

Specifically, he tells you to meet him at a Tokyo restaurant and to wear an Asian costume. When you ask him what exactly you need to wear an Asian costume for, he says: "I want us to be secret Asians."

I got a job for British gas the other day. For my first assignment they gave me some blue prints marked in inches. I couldn't understand it at all...

I only read meters.

My love for you is like a copied assignment...

I just can't explain it.

Teacher: Good news, you have an extra period to finish your assignment!

Me: Wow, that's a whole extra month!

Calvin had a mean teacher.

So when he missed a deadline for an assignment, Calvin begged for an extension. The teacher said, No, I'm giving you a 0, Calvin. Calvin replied, You are absolutely cold.

Nikola Tesla was in trouble - he had not done his electrical studies assignment and his teacher was not happy...

His teacher asks, "well, where is it?". Searching for a legitimate excuse, Tesla says, "I did it - but the dog ate my ohmwork".

I never understood why soldiers hate digging latrines.

It's not a piss-poor assignment.

M calls 007 into her office.

She says, "Your next assignment is to go to the Chrstmas ball and meet new people. Bond, James, bond!"

My highest APM count?

The evening before the assignment is due.

I am so unwitty. My teacher asked me why i didn't turnover my Speech assignment

I didn't know what to say.

Harry and Ron are given a group assignment with little time to do it

Harry turns to Ron and says: - Ron, we need to use our time weasley.

Earlier, I was discussing about sexually transmitted diseases with my crush as a part of college assignment.

Crush: Don't worry, you have 0% chance of getting it.

They say a picture is worth 1000 words

This assignment is gonna be a breeze.

I once had a temp job at a prune processing plant

It was a plumb assignment

In English class I did an essay on The Room for my assignment

The teacher gave me a hi mark

I was given an assignment to do an essay about procrastination.

But I dunno. I'll do it later.

Four idiots were in the finals stages of becoming full members of the local skin-head biker gang. Their last assignment was to terrorize some Jews at a bar mitzvah later that afternoon.

They failed their final assignment because the rabbi saw them when they first arrived. He had the four skins immediately removed before they caused any trouble.

My teacher randomly capitalizes letters on an assignment when someone misbehaves

It's their capital punishment

The other day I was writing my assignment on English. I had to write the tenses of certain words. It was easy because I had taught my mates prior to that. When it came to teach, I couldn't remember it..

i thunk and thunk and thunk, but still couldn't remember.. and then it struck me.. It's obviously teached. My dumb ass.

In 8th grade english class I wrote a script titled "The Pun"

The very first set description in the script said that the stage was to be painted over with random words and phrases. When I handed in the assignment, my teacher came up to me and asked: "Why is your script titled 'The Pun' and why is the floor covered with phrases?" "Because my script is a play on words!"

My math teacher asked if i had completed last weeks assignment

I responded f(yes)-1, ended up with a 100% on it!

A professor gives an IT student, a law student and a medical student a phone book to memorize

The IT student creates a program that does it for him, the law student asks whether the assignment is legal and the medical student asks „When is it due?

I recently got hired at a publishing company.

The first assignment I got today was adapting a thousand-page manuscript into a five-page short story. It wasn't easy to make a long story short.

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.

When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was. "It's a period,'' said the little boy. "Well, I can see that,'' she said, ''but what is so exciting about a period?'' ''Darned if I know,'' said the little boy, ''but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself."

School report.

My teacher gave us an assignment to tell her our idols and then say what we would do if they walked in our house. I got off easy because I said Stephen Hawking.

"I'm so sorry, my dog ate my homework." Rolling his eyes, my computer science professor shot back, "Really?! Your dog ate your coding assignment?"

"Well, to be perfectly honest, it did take him a couple bytes."

How did my computer eat the programming assignment?

It took a couple bytes.

There's only one mother.

Little Johnny got an assignment to write an essay for homework. The title of the essay: There's only one mother. He proceeded to write: "When I came home from school, I stumbled over my dad that was passed out drunk in front of the door. I heard the commotion upstairs so I ran up to check. I found my mom in bed with our neighbor. Mom asked me to get two bottles of beer from the fridge. I went downstairs, opened the fridge and there was only one bottle, so I shouted "There's only one, mother!""

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the assignment assignment related puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working assignment college assignment piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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Assignment Jokes

A CO was receiving inmates as they're being recalled from their assigned jobs to prepare for count. An inmate that had passed the officer returned bleeding through his trousers from his crotch. The inmate had an argument with his lover who had told him that he wasn't enough woman for him. As the inmate was bleeding he was crying out. "He doesn't love me anymore!!" The officer called for medical assistance and went into the assigned cell. He found the severed penis. He fished it out of the toilet and placed it in a plastic bag with ice. He claimed that the medical staff at the hospital could reattach it. He took a ribbing from his fellow officers, because ,most would've flushed it. I retired and months later saw a fellow officer at the store. As we caught up, I mentioned that the last incident I responded to was 'the severed penis' the officer tells me that the inmate severed his penis again after it was reattached and flushed it himself.

Little Johnny

Little Johnny was finishing up his homework when the teacher gave him an assignment for the day. The instructions were simple: compare two objects, we will work on contrast next week

Chapter 1. "Kid teacher"

Mrs. Lewis: Class, I want everyone to look at their textbooks and find a reasonable essay topic. My suggestion is page 232 or 678. Now this essay counts as the final grade for the semester, now do it or you will repeat 5th grade again! Now turn to page 100 and we'll start reading from there, do you all understand?

Neilela: Yes ma'am, quick question, we don't have to do it today ... do we?

Mrs. Lewis: Yes! Is today!

Andrua: It sounds boring and all I have to do today is be a big jerk who gives way to much of instructions.

Mrs.Lewis : Anyway, let's get to work.

56 hours later.

Mrs. Lewis: Kids, when I call you, please tell me what you liked about your eassy. When I call your name Carl.

Carl: Why me. Yes?

Mrs.Lewis : What did you like about the story Carl?

Carl: Um ... I liked it when ... um ... um ... um ... um ...

Jeklen: He didn't even read the story because he's to busy trying to look up the letter "J" and its meaning!

Carl: Jeklen shut up and stop biting your hair.

Jeklen: At least I know what the letter "J" is.

Mrs. Lewis: Class, please listen. Carl, did you read the story that I asked you?

Carl: Will, not really because you were the one reading it in class, so ...

Vronica: For real!

Carl: Mhmmm

Mrs.Lewis: Listen class, this homework needs to be done today! DO IT!

Kimbriel: Ms. Lewis, I have a lot of questions about tonight's homework.

Mrs.Lewis: Yes?

Kimbriel: You assigned so many things just for a little test! What?

Mrs.Lewis: I need a break! Peyton, you're in charge!

All students: NO, NOT PEYTON !!!!!!

Peyton: Me? In charge? Of the class?

Jessica: Wow, but you're all about the bordom!

Peyton: Shut up! yeeeeeeee

Peyton: Ms. Lewis, there must be a mistake, how can I be in charge? I'm 11 ... I think ...

Ari: To think that yesterday she thought she was 8 years old.

Oh sorry ... I think.

Mrs. Lewis: Have you ever heard of a teacher's vacation?

All students: That not a thing!

I never heard it ...

Mrs. Lewis: Will, me and Ms. Sumrall, we are going on a "teacher vacation", we can do it because we become calmer or we don't get angry at the students. AND WE CAN DO IT!

Khloe: Why?

Mrs. Lewis: Because I am an adult.

Ms. Sumrall: Is Petrina ready?

Ms. Lewis: Yes, thank goodness for this!

Kenya: Bye? "Chapter 2" To be continued...

Mrs. Harolen: Students, tomorrow's assignment is to bring your parents to school for a conference with the teacher informatio-

Garen: I want to know who cannot bring their teachers to a conference. ORPHANS!

Students: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Mrs. Harolen: Garen sit down! NOW!

Garen: Hey why can't orphans get a dog? They don't have their parents to drive them to the animale shelter.

Halen: Yeah! Why are orphans racist? Because they never saw there parents in a diffrent race!

Students: No that's not funny!

Student: SHUT UP!

Teacher: this assignment is big. Student(male): I have something that’s big. Teacher: yeah your forehead

So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC's so he goes home and ask his mom who's cooking "Whats the first letter of the ABC's?" he ask and his mom responds with "SHUT UP... I'M COOKING!" so then he walks to sister who's signing in the shower and asks her "Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC's?" she responds with "I'm ready to go I'm ready to go!" then he walks over to his brother who's watching batman and asks "Whats the 3rd letter of the ABC's" and his brother responds with "nu nu nu nu batman" then he proceeds to walk to his dad who's watching football and ask "Dad whats the 4th letter of the ABC's?" and he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD!" then he walks to his grandma who's cooking buns and ask her "Whats the 5th letter of the ABC's?" and she responds with "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!" then he Johnny proceeds to go to school the next day and the teacher says to her class "Can any of you tell me the first letter of the ABC's" Johnny of course raises his hand and the teacher calls on him then he says "SHUT UP I'M COOKING!" then the teacher raises and eyebrow and says "Young man are you ready to go to the principals office?" then he proceeds to say "I'm ready to go I'm ready to go!" and he walks to the principals office then she says "What's you're name son?" he responds with "Nu nu nu nu batman!" then the principal ask "How many spanken's boy?!" he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD" and after that he runs out of the principal's office well yelling "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!"

My teacher gave us an assignment and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I answered "Happy". The teacher said I didn't understand the test, I said to her that she didn't understand life

Homework Jokes

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake. What did the fishing rod say to the boat? Canoe help me with my homework? Why can't you do your calculus homework on a Friday night? Because you can't drink and derive. Why don't you do arithmetic homework in the jungle? Because if you add 4+4 you get ate. What did the dog say to his classmate? "Can I copy your homework, I ate mine." What did the cheerleader say when she was given more homework? Bring It On. What do you call a man who can do a years worth of homework in two weeks? Billy Madison. Why don't fish need to do homework? Because they're always swimming in schools. What did the teacher ask her class? Who let the homework-eating dogs out! Why do people do homework? Because it doesn't know how to do it itself. Why can't you do homework faster than Rachael Leigh Cook? Because "She's All That". Knock Knock Who's there? Dewey! Dewey who? Dewey really have homework on the first day? Knock Knock Who's there? Howl. Howl who? Howl we finish our homework on time? Knock Knock Who's there? Canoe! Canoe who? Canoe help me with my home work. Knock Knock Who's There? Honeydew! Honeydew who? Honeydew your homework before you go outside. My homework brings all the Asians to the yard, and they're like, "It wasn't that hard." I would do my math homework, but I've already got my own problems. I was a thirty something frat boy and I never had homework, but that was at my "Old School". If school isn't a place to sleep then home isn't a place to study. I wanted to turn in my bartending homework, but I was absinthe. Biology Teacher: "Students, what does the chiken give you?" Student(s): Eggs and Meat! Teacher: "Great! What dose the pig give you?" Student(s): Bacon! Teacher: "Excellent! Now what does the fat cow give you?" Student(s): HOMEWORK!! SCHOOL: 2 + 2 = 4. HOMEWORK: 2 + 4 + 2 = 8. EXAM: Matthew has 4 apples, his train is 7 minutes early, calculate the sun's mass. What do pigs give you? Pork. What do goats give you? Cheese. What do cows give you? Homework. Teacher says to little Mary, "I want you draw a picture of a house" Little Mary says "That must be my HOMEwork" Human Body The teacher asks, "Flora, what part of the human body increases ten times when excited?" Flora blushes and says, "That's disgusting, I won't even answer that question." The teacher calls on Johnny: "What part of the human body increases ten times when excited?" "That's easy," says Johnny. "It's the pupil of the eye." "Very good, Johnny," responds the teacher. "That's correct." She then turns to Flora and says, "First, you didn't do your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, you're in for a BIG disappointment." Bad Student One day I went into school all puzzled and said to my teacher "Miss will i get into trouble for something i havent done ?" She said "No why" I said " Because I havent done my homework. Pick Up Lines I wish I was your calculus homework, because then I'd be hard and you'd be doing me on your desk. If you were my homework Id do you all over my desk Is your name homework? 'Cause I'm not doing you, but I should be.

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Assignment Puns

A list of puns related to "Assignment"

This bear's repeating.

A pop quiz!

"William."

When I glanced over the assignment , I noticed one of the problems was missing.

I waved down the teacher, and he came over and said, "Everything looking good?"

I said, "I don't see a problem here."

He looked at me and said, "Great!" and walked away.

Me-Dad: “Nope never seen her either”.

Oooops. Wrong USB.

"Well, to be perfectly honest, it did take him a couple bytes."

Her joke: “I’m going to turn 9 on Wednesday. It’s going to be quite a birthday”

Hi going to turn 9 on Wednesday. It’s going to be quite a birthday. I’m Dad.

His professor asked him to discus it.

All Write! All Write! All Write!

Over 2,000 gingers showed up and there wasn't a sole to be seen.

My homework ate my dog.

It would be a piece of cake!

They're all just essays

Hello there,

I am doing a science project on cleaning products and I need a catchy title, so I figured I would go with a pun. The problem is, I can't think of one! If you guys could help me think of a one-liner pun involving somethng cleaning related, I would be very grateful!

He told me I was to discuss ting

... Lads, I almost lost the plot.

"T-o-d-a-y" apparently wasn't the response she was looking for.

It was the end of the class, we were talking about due assignments (Master thesis prep group, cuz iamverysmart). Things were getting a bit informal, when one of my fellow students asked:

"When do we get our graded paper back?"

to which I loudly yelled:

"I'd like a hardcover!"

Some snorted, some didn't understand it, but the overarching sound I heard was loud groaning. Worth.

Are we all on the same page?

Friend: "Ugh! I have so much homework tonight! And the worst part is that it's all in English!"

Me: "Thank goodness, because I was worried it would all be in Chinese, and then you couldn't do it."

Have him turn paper over for no apparent reason.

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Homework Jokes

We’re sorry. this joke list was supposed to be twice as long but our dog ate half of it. honest if you hate homework as much as we do, then this list of hilarious homework jokes is for you.

So if you’re reading these jokes instead of doing your Maths homework then you might need some more to stop you doing your History homework too. Try these 20 Delicious Pi Jokes for Maths Fans! or even these 16 History Jokes Which Are Older Than Your Pants . If you are reading this and you’re a teacher, don’t worry. The Beano doesn’t just laugh at the mere idea of homework. We also have some educational (yet funny) fact pages too. Check out our 30 Amazing Facts About Space and the Universe to marvel at our brainy writing skills!

What’s Hermione Granger’s favourite homework?

My teacher say’s I didn’t do my Ancient Roman homework?

That’s his story!

My science teacher is always saying I haven’t done my homework!

We just lack chemistry!

I ripped up my homework.

It was tearable.

Why didn’t the kid do their cooking homework?

They didn't have enough thyme!

Little Brother: I am learning about numbers for homework!

Big Brother: What are the odds?

My teachers told me off for something I didn’t do!

My homework.

Kid: Dad, can you help me with my homework? Dad: No, son. It just wouldn't be right.

Kid: I know, but will you try it anyway?

A dad gives his adult son a playful headlock

My teacher’s the best…

She puts kisses all over my homework!

Why did Vladamir Putin finish his homework so fast?

Because he was Russian.

Father: When Winston Churchill was your age he did homework by candlelight.

Son: When Winston Churchill was your age he was Prime Minister!

I got a paper cut from my Statistics homework.

What are the odds?

Teacher: Where is your homework?

Clever Kid: I lost it fighting someone who said you weren’t the best teacher in school!

They teacher left a note on my homework but signed it with the wrong name…

I think they're mass-grading as someone else!

Why was the girl’s A+ homework covered in feathers?

She’d hired a mathmachicken!

For my art homework I had to write about Salvadore Dali...

I tried, but my pen turned into a giraffe and my desk melted.

Kid: My dog ate my homework… Teacher: It was a computer science assignment!

Kid: He took quite a few bytes!

Teacher: Did your Dad help you with your homework?

Kid: No, he did it all by himself!

My friend asked to use my fingers to help him with his Maths homework…

He should stop counting on me!

My homework was to cook something. I said I'd bake dog biscuits! No idea how too but…

There’s a great excuse when i don't hand in my homework.

Why was the algebra homework so sad?

It had a lot of problems!

What did they sandwich say when they forgot their homework?

What did the bacon do after school?

Their ham-work!

Why did the student eat their homework?

Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!

What happened when the tomato fell behind on his homework?

He had to ketchup!

Why did the boy eat his homework?

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Funny Jokes

Assignment Jokes

Class assignment.

A young female teacher was giving her 5th Grade an assignment. Since it was a large assignment, she began to write high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys. Turning around quickly, she asked, "What is so amusing, Derrick?" "I just saw one of your garters," Derrick explained. "Leave my classroom and don't return for three days!" the teacher yelled. Turning back to the chalkboard, she continued writing high up on the board when there was an even louder giggle from another boy in the class. Turning around quickly, she asked, "What is so funny, Sam?" Giggling, Sam said, "Well, I just saw both of your garters." "Get out of my classroom," the teacher yelled. "I don't want to see you back here for three weeks!" When she turned around to the chalkboard again, she was so frustrated and embarrassed that she dropped the eraser. Bending over to pick it up, she suddenly heard a more...

Cooperative Story Writing

This assignment was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca and Gary English 44A SMU Creative Writing Prof Miller In-class Assignment for Wednesday Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached. At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must more...

Small town newspaper reporters first assignment

A cub reporter for a small town newspaper was sent out on his first assignment one day. He submitted the following report to his editor. "Mrs. Smith was injured in a one-car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her breasts." The Editor scolded the new reporter, saying. "This is a family paper. We don't use words like breasts around here. Now go back and write something more appropiate!" The young reporter thought long and hard. Finally he handed the Editor the following report. "Mrs. Smith was injured in a one-car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her ( . )( . )"

A young female teacher was giving an assignment...

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. Itwas a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenlythere was a giggle from one of the boys in the class.She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat?""Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters.""Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days."The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title theassignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an evenlouder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funnyBilly?""Well miss, I just saw both of your garters."Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe,"I don't want to see you for three weeks."Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. Soshe bends over to more...

The homework schedule

Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes. 15 minutes looking for assignment. 11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment. 23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children. 8 minutes in the bathroom. 10 minutes getting a snack. 7 minutes checking the TV Guide. 6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment. 10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.

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COMMENTS

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"Well, to be perfectly honest, it did take him a couple bytes." upvote downvote report. The third-grade class had a homework assignment to
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"Tommy, what'd you do for recess?" she asks the first student. "Well," Tommy begins, "I played in the sand box with Suzy!" "Okay great. If you can come to the
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Garen: I want to know who cannot bring their teachers to a conference. ORPHANS! ... Mrs. Harolen: Garen sit down! NOW! Garen: Hey why can't orphans get a dog?
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"Can I copy your homework, I ate mine." What did the cheerleader say when she was given more homework? Bring It On. What do you call a man who can do a years
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Assignment Puns · I know that I've told y'all this before, but after not turning in his assignments and not coming to class all school year... · What's a balloons
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Kid: Dad, can you help me with my homework? Dad: No, son. It just wouldn't be right. Kid: I know, but will you try it anyway?
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TEACHER: Your homework assignment last night was to draw a map of Texas including all the rivers in that state. Why didn't you finish it?
Little Johnny had a homework assignment to write...
BEST JOKE OF THE DAY! - Little Johnny had a homework assignment to write... | Funny Daily Jokes ⏰ New Videos Daily at 10am PST Our Store
Assignment Jokes
A young female teacher was giving her 5th Grade an assignment. Since it was a large assignment, she began to write high up on the chalkboard.